The other day I met one of the most awsome creatures known to man: The Norwegian badger.
It was sitting on my roof chanting an ancient viking mantra. The vikings chanted the mantra before going into battle with the pirates agianst the cowboys, the robots and the ninjas. It goes something like this:

"Hei du jeg elsker deg din jævel!
Du har så mye sensualitet.
Men du skal få deg en på trynet.
For stygge gutter er det verste jeg vet."

It`s a very powerful and inspiring mantra wich makes you ready for warfare and the library.
Here is a translation:

"Hey you, I love you, you demon!
You`ve got such huge quantities of sensuality.
But I`m gonna give you a knukle sandwich in the face.
Because ugly boys are what I hate the most"

Touches your soul, right? And very ambigous. It expresses both love and repulsion at the same time. Allmost like a pizza with cheese and lollypops.

But anyway, I asked the badger what he was named, and why he sat on my roof chanting the inspiring and voilently arousing mantra. The badger replied that his name was Pelle Ompel and that he was getting ready for war against the sweedish poodles. The sweedish poodles had been masquerading as danish turtles for two months now, and it had to end. Both the norwegian badgers and the real danish turtles tried to establish dialogue to achieve a peacefull solution first, but the poodles wouldn`t listen.

Pelle Ompel brandished his wodden log. And looked up at the moon and shed a river of tears. "Why?! Why cant the poodles just stop? Why does it have to end in war?" He howled, then he went on: "I`m looking forward to the smell the stench of slaughtered sweedish poodles on the battlefield."

Then I asked him:" But how can you look forward to it with such joy and excitement while being filled with all those feelings of regret at the same time?" "Puny human" he replied. "Your emotions are so monodimensional. Why do you interpret your feelings in mono, why not try stereo for a change?" I told him that would try to do so from now on. He then kissed me and kicked my niples. Then he stood up and said: "Remeber the words of Cyber Pirate Ninja Jesus: Love with thy heart of steel" Then he disapeared in a cloud of smoke. I went inside and thought to myself while handling my emotions in stereo: "One day I`ll become a badger as well.


Here is a picture of Pelle Ompel: [link]

Cyber Pirate Ninja Jesus: [link]